yehey is not enough.
"May simbahan ang labis na lungkot...Ang labis na kaligayahan ay walang isang tahanan." (R. Anonuevo)
This post could not contain the magnanimity of my feelings. It's been four days* since I've had this blessing yet until now I can't grasp it. Perhaps it's bliss. Bliss. That's it. "Happy" and "Jovial" doesn't cover it.
For almost three years now, I have longed to be on the stage. I remained unemployed in pursuit of my passion. Almost three years of taking chances, falling down, getting hurt. Every audition brings on a an emotional roller coaster. The courage in the beginning became self-doubt over time. It's not easy bearing your soul and passion in a few minutes only to be trampled on later. Repeat 100x.
It went to the point that I was forgetting who I was. I repeatedly asked God why He gave me such a desire if it can never be fulfilled, if it was all frustration I am willed to have.
The last one I went to brought the worst audition blues ever. It didn't feel right. I didn't feel the bahala na, laban attitude I had before, despite the fear and doubt. I felt stale, apathetic. At the last minute I had a faint whiff of that fighting spirit (see previous post) and went for it.
I almost gave up. Thank God I didn't.
I got in.
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*My friends spilled the beans before the official announcement, right after the callback (28th). They welcomed me with a chorus of "Congratulations" in true Wowowee fashion, but I still waited for THE text since I found the news incredible. I got it just yesterday. Imagine my torment within the 4-day gap :)