Napagusapan lang namin ni Edge kagabi, habang nagbu-bumbumbum...

Me: Alam mo sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung nasan ako pag-graduate ko,
kung ano gagawin ko, kung ano talaga gusto ko.
Edge: Ako din..Ganito kasi tayo e, enjoy lang kung anong meron ngayon.
Me: Oo nga

Maraming nabobother sa kaisipang walang direksiyon ang buhay nila, walang patutunguhan...Aamiinin ko, isa rin ako dun paminsan-minsan. Pero, ayaw ko at hindi dapat akong mabahala dito...Maybe it's better to enjoy every moment even if you don't know what lies ahead of the road you're walking in...maybe because when you always look far ahead of what lies beyond that curve, you fail to see the trees that line it, hear the chirps of the birds, or how the air feels with every breath you take.

OK. Everybody now! Tap those red slippers together and..."Somewhere over the rainbow..." Hmp. Yeah yeah, marshmallow.

I'm not saying that having direction and goals are bad, but making too much fuss about it is what's wrong. You go through life reaching goal after goal, driven by the humane quality of discontentment. Then one day you realize you're at the end and all you have are memories of hardships you've gone through reaching your dreams, but then, have you lived them?

I remembered something from the stage play "Our Town"*: As the dead lie atop the hill looking down upon the living, the one who just died protested in horror how those who live waste their time without cherishing life. They're taking everything for granted. Another dead replied..."They will never know, they will never know."

* Our Town...
Last Friday, we watched this at CCP as a showcase of the summer Theater workshop. I really like this play. I liked it how they made stage managers appear on stage and actually started narrating the story, conversing with the characters themselves. It was simple: the story, the presentation, everything...but simply loveable.


MARSHMALLOW
My friends always say that everything for me is marshmallow because I still believe in things like perfect love and rainbows after tempests. Hence, I AM marshmallow. I don't know...I know Reality sucks but I still like my marshmallow syndrome that makes me believe that there's still good in anything and everything. (Though I don't really show it) Don't get me wrong, I'm not those typical persons who looks pink and fluffy, who never got a scratch from life's ups and downs or even a bump...I've been scratched, beaten, I've bled. I curse at it, and it curses me. But then I believe. Even when it seems hard to do so most of the time, I still believe there's good to it. Maybe that's why I still haven't pulled the plug on myself even if the idea always plays in my head. I'm marshmallow because I am, and because of Him. It won't hurt to have a smile on my face while waiting for the blows coming for me, because during that second before they do hit me, I am happy.